Friday, April 24, 2009
wednesday was a day riding high on emotions, of exhilaration, relief, and deep feelings. i had no idea why i was so overwhelmed really, because i wasn't the one having to face the heat of the competition. but i saw.. and felt. i dunno why such scenes just makes me feel gooey inside. haha. am really touched. and when everything ended with such colour and gayness, the feeling is really sweet, you can literally taste it.
back at ucc, memories are too overwhelming. aristal 08. syf. it's a place stock rich of memories of those dancing days. and to think i may not be back on that stage anymore. but i admit like canned food, we all have an expiry date. haha. and i guess mine is long due. but i am not going to ferment and spoil, i'll flourish in other ways. and yea. so i wasnt really listening to the dialogue session before the results were announced. but something came up somehow, filtered and went to my head. the point that the training and discipline during dance, will somehow or another shape the dancer's resilience to face any adversities in other aspects of life.
and that brought me thinking back to the medicine interview. am feeling all jittery inside. but i suppose no news is good news? i really want this. there hasnt been anything else in life that i yearn for so much. maybe perhaps getting into syf. i really don want to relive the disappointment. and i will be v lost as to where to move on from here. all these years. i realise that i have been steeling myself to disappointment, always putting myself in a position in a place where i will least be hurt, because i don want to be hurt all over again. but because of this, i don't have any strength to welcome hurt.
bleh.
on a lighter note. yesterday officially marks my last lesson for driving. it was a mock assessment and i passed it with 18 demerit points. =x bad. haha. supposed to be immediate failure, but my instructor was nice. =/ so i am not confident of booking for practical test. hmm. but then it will be a long wait till the next test date anyway, around early june. so i can still practise. really want to pass the first time. haha.
back at ucc, memories are too overwhelming. aristal 08. syf. it's a place stock rich of memories of those dancing days. and to think i may not be back on that stage anymore. but i admit like canned food, we all have an expiry date. haha. and i guess mine is long due. but i am not going to ferment and spoil, i'll flourish in other ways. and yea. so i wasnt really listening to the dialogue session before the results were announced. but something came up somehow, filtered and went to my head. the point that the training and discipline during dance, will somehow or another shape the dancer's resilience to face any adversities in other aspects of life.
and that brought me thinking back to the medicine interview. am feeling all jittery inside. but i suppose no news is good news? i really want this. there hasnt been anything else in life that i yearn for so much. maybe perhaps getting into syf. i really don want to relive the disappointment. and i will be v lost as to where to move on from here. all these years. i realise that i have been steeling myself to disappointment, always putting myself in a position in a place where i will least be hurt, because i don want to be hurt all over again. but because of this, i don't have any strength to welcome hurt.
bleh.
on a lighter note. yesterday officially marks my last lesson for driving. it was a mock assessment and i passed it with 18 demerit points. =x bad. haha. supposed to be immediate failure, but my instructor was nice. =/ so i am not confident of booking for practical test. hmm. but then it will be a long wait till the next test date anyway, around early june. so i can still practise. really want to pass the first time. haha.
10:11 AM
